SAVE MONEY NOW!
LOOK AT THESE DAMN BARGINS!!!
Used Hurricane Rita Generators - $14.99 each
Half packs of cigarettes - $1.00
Half smoked packs of cigarettes - $.99
Extra Blue Roof Tarps - $4.99 each
Surplus Duct Tape - $1.00 a roll

LOOKING FOR UNQUALIFIED PERSONNEL?
- COURT SHOPPING -
Kindly Older Judge Referral - $19.99
Incompetent Lawyer Referral - $19.99
Scary Powerful Lawyer Referral - $19.99
Cranky Judge Referral - $19.99
Half Blind Court Stenographer - $8.99 an Hour
- DOCTOR SHOPPING -
Doctor who smokes Referral - $19.99
Doctor who “Scripts” on the side Referral - $19.99
Doctor who Never even comes into the office Referral - $19.99
Herbal Doctor Referral - $19.99
Stoned Herbal Doctor Referral - $19.99

ARE YOU A DAMN ILLEGAL FOREIGNER?
WE CAN HOOK YOUR ASS UP!!!
Fake Birth certificates - $14.99
Fake Passports - $14.99
Fake Social Security Cards - $14.99
Fake Credit Cards - $24.99 a Dozen
Fake Driver Licenses - $9.99
Fake Witnesses - $19.99 a Dozen
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NEW!!!! GET ONE TODAY!!!
Have your very own Jefferson County Smoking Permit for only $10.00!
Smoke where you want, when you want!
Just $10.00!!!
Don't forget our all new BEER PERMIT!
$10.00 will let you drink anywhere, anytime in Jefferson County!!
Sunday Morning?
At the Preacher's House?
YOU GOT IT!!!!
(Permit may or may not get you arrested, but who cares - YOU'RE DRUNK!)

CHEAP EATS? YOU BET YOUR ASS!
McClartfee Steak House: $75 Certificate for $10
Chug-n-Puke Cafe - 128 Oz. Soda Free with any sandwich
Kit Shikers Bar & Grill - Free Opossom pie with any purchase
MENTION CARL'S NAME AND SAVE!!!
Giftcards, giftcards, giftcards! We can print any card for any damn restaurant in town for only $5.00 a card!
(Card may not be honored or valid)
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