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THE SCHITT HOUSE (1959) -
Jack Schitt, Sr. is the only son of Awh Schitt, the fertilizer magnate, who's married to Oh Schitt, the owner of Kneedeep Schitt Inn. Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt. They produced seven children. Their first
son, Big Schitt was followed by twin sons, Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt, then by three daughters: Ima Schitt,
Fulla Schitt, and Giva Schitt, and finally another son, Bull Schitt. Due to a fertile family inclination
we can agree that our town is quite full of Schitt.
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THE FINGER FAMILY SHACK (1963) -
All we really know about the Finger Family is that they attempted to make their family fortune by raising
trained alligators for the blind. The Seeing-Eye Gator never really caught on and almost pushed the family
into bankruptcy in 1968.
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PONG DINGLEWOOD FAMILY (1951) - These brave roughneck wildcatters are all that stood between the devil
and the deep brown Neches River. Water rising, lightening flashing, these working class heros brought in
one of the first non-working oil wells in Southeast Texas, padding the way for decades of foreign imports.
Cheap Gas? You bet! And we're not talking Cookie's Bean and Biscut Platter served later that night.
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FRED, TEXAS: PONG ESTATE (1943) -
Little is known about Elija K. Pong, the elder of the Pong Clan born and raised in Fred, Texas. One story
that has been told is that, on a bet, Elija once ate five of Miss Rena Ticklenut's Pecan Pies at a single
sitting. Later, after three hours and twelve minutes in the Outhouse Library, he was taken to closest
barber for a quick rehydration.
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