The Philosophy of Pong
  • "If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging..."
  • "I don't know how I got over the hill without getting to the top first."
  • "The only thing bullshit is really good for is growing flowers."
  • "If we could only capture that hot air to run our cars off of."
  • "Stupity often has it's own language."
  • "She's a fat ass just getting fatter..."
  • "Sometimes a change has to start with the one who wants it."
  • "When all is said and done, a heluva lot more is said than done."
  • "Politicians are not complete idiots - some parts are missing."
  • "A conservative is a man who believes that nothing should be done for the first time."
  • "A Liberal is just a conservative that was mugged by the I.R.S."
  • "A good slogan can stop analysis for fifty years."
  • "A good scapegoat is hard to find."
  • "All probabilities are really 50%. Either a thing will happen or it won't."
  • "Always hire a rich attorney. Poor is more than a concept..."
  • "Asking dumb questions is easier than correcting dumb mistakes."
  • "Bureaucracy: a method for transforming energy into solid waste."
  • "Entropy has us outnumbered."
  • "Never kick a cow chip on a hot day."
    More words to live by...
  • “He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.” –Winston Churchill
  • “I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.” –Clarence Darrow
  • “He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.” –William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)
  • "Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?" —Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)
  • “I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn’t it.” –Groucho Marx
  • “I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.” –Mark Twain
  • “He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.” –Oscar Wilde
  • “I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend... if you have one.” –George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
  • “Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second, if there is one.” –Winston Churchill’s response to George Bernard Shaw
  • “I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.” –Stephen Bishop
  • “He is a self-made man and worships his creator.” –John Bright
  • “I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.” –Irvin S. Cobb
  • “He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.” –Samuel Johnson
  • “He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.” –Paul Keating
  • “He had delusions of adequacy.” –Walter Kerr
  • “Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?” –Mark Twain
  • “His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.” –Mae West
  • “Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!” –Lady Astor to Winston Churchill at a dinner party
  • “Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!” –Winston Churchill’s response to Lady Astor
  • "Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." —Moses Hadas
  • "There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure." —Jack E. Leonard
  • "He has the attention span of a lightning bolt." —Robert Redford
  • "They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge." —Thomas Brackett Reed
  • "He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them." —James Reston (about Richard Nixon)
  • "In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." —Charles, Count Talleyrand
  • "He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." —Forrest Tucker
  • "He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any one I know." —Abraham Lincoln
  • "His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." —Mae West
  • "He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts — for support rather than illumination." —Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
  • "He has Van Gogh's ear for music." —Billy Wilder
  • “Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.” –Oscar Wilde
  • "You, Mr. Wilkes, will die either of the pox or on the gallows." –The Earl of Sandwich
  • "That depends, my lord, whether I embrace your mistress or your principles." –John Wilkes's response to The Earl of Sandwich
  • "A modest little person, with much to be modest about." —Winston Churchill

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