SAVE MONEY NOW!
LOOK AT THESE DAMN BARGINS!!!

  • Used Hurricane Rita Generators - $14.99 each
  • Half packs of cigarettes - $1.00
  • Half smoked packs of cigarettes - $.99
  • Extra Blue Roof Tarps - $4.99 each
  • Surplus Duct Tape - $1.00 a roll

    LOOKING FOR UNQUALIFIED PERSONNEL?

    - COURT SHOPPING -

  • Kindly Older Judge Referral - $19.99
  • Incompetent Lawyer Referral - $19.99
  • Scary Powerful Lawyer Referral - $19.99
  • Cranky Judge Referral - $19.99
  • Half Blind Court Stenographer - $8.99 an Hour

    - DOCTOR SHOPPING -

  • Doctor who smokes Referral - $19.99
  • Doctor who “Scripts” on the side Referral - $19.99
  • Doctor who Never even comes into the office Referral - $19.99
  • Herbal Doctor Referral - $19.99
  • Stoned Herbal Doctor Referral - $19.99

    ARE YOU A DAMN ILLEGAL FOREIGNER?
    WE CAN HOOK YOUR ASS UP!!!

  • Fake Birth certificates - $14.99
  • Fake Passports - $14.99
  • Fake Social Security Cards - $14.99
  • Fake Credit Cards - $24.99 a Dozen
  • Fake Driver Licenses - $9.99
  • Fake Witnesses - $19.99 a Dozen
  • NEW!!!! GET ONE TODAY!!!

    Have your very own Jefferson County Smoking Permit for only $10.00!

    Smoke where you want, when you want!

    Just $10.00!!!

    Don't forget our all new BEER PERMIT!

    $10.00 will let you drink anywhere, anytime in Jefferson County!!

    Sunday Morning?
    At the Preacher's House?
    YOU GOT IT!!!!
    (Permit may or may not get you arrested, but who cares - YOU'RE DRUNK!)

    CHEAP EATS? YOU BET YOUR ASS!

  • McClartfee Steak House: $75 Certificate for $10
  • Chug-n-Puke Cafe - 128 Oz. Soda Free with any sandwich
  • Kit Shikers Bar & Grill - Free Opossom pie with any purchase
  • MENTION CARL'S NAME AND SAVE!!!

    Giftcards, giftcards, giftcards! We can print any card for any damn restaurant in town for only $5.00 a card! (Card may not be honored or valid)

  • NO DAMN SHIPPING!!!
    NO DAMN HANDLING!!!
    NO DAMN REFUNDS!!!
    NO DAMN SECRET MESSAGES!!!
    ALL SALES FINAL!!!

    Send cash and cash ONLY to:

    Carl Pong, Jr.
    C/O L.E.E. Industries
    Brown Paper Bag in the
    Third Trash Can From the Stairs
    (Not responsible for lost or stolen brown paper bags)


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